A few years ago, I wrote a blog post called Shit Recruiters Say, where I shared some of the funniest and most ridiculous recruiter messages I had seen. Today, I’m going to share another collection of funny and ridiculous messages, but this time, from a different source: Google Voice’s Voicemail Transcriptions.
Now that I’m spending a lot of time in Italy, I use Google Voice for a lot of my calls, as it offers free calls to the US. When someone leaves me a voicemail, Google Voice has a handy feature that automatically transcribes the voicemail and sends an email notification with the text. Normally, the transcription feature works reasonably well, but when my parents call and leave a voicemail in Russian, the results can be… amazing.
09/12/15
Good evening Point City. So it’s on Peter the venue shift chairs but not certain of course.
This was the first weird voicemail transcription I got by email, before I realized what was going on. I thought it might’ve been a wrong number, and I was accidentally seeing someone’s secret plan unfold. That’s affirmative Peter, the eagle has landed, I repeat, the eagle has landed.
09/18/15
Book group. I just need to recheck the clear myself okay.
OK, yea, sure, that sounds fine.
09/20/15
Bit it is a bank just let you a quick chicken
Sounds like something straight out of the Jive scene in Airplane! The actual voicemail did mention a bank, or more specifically, how I had gotten a new checkbook in the mail. Henceforth, the checkbook shall be instead known by the name “quick chicken.”
10/03/15
Pretty it’s unclear I teleport.
No no, that’s perfectly clear.
10/04/15
Please shut up cuz I’m at home, okay.
Hey now, let’s keep this civil.
10/17/15
Patriots Play tennis with Kendall established could slow it is for this m*******.
Woah, no need to get belligerent! I had no idea Google Voice would censor swearing.
11/01/15
Yes, I was when you called. That’s why the f*** up.
Yikes, who knew Google Voice could be so aggressive?
11/01/15
Baby, it’s so much Bye simile. Hi Joe cloud the inside of my food with allstate insurance dealer platinum buzz when you get done with your boots know that.
Oh yea baby.
